Joe B recently, and apparently falsely, claimed that his uncle (2nd Lt. Ambrose J. Finnegan Jr., also known as “Bosie”) was victimized—eaten, that is—by cannibals.[1] Perhaps, this fishy propaganda, defended by the White House press secretary[2], might give Americans insight as how it may have influenced Joe B’s policy-making abilities. Finally, we may be able to decipher the medically compromised mind that went into creating the worst presidency the U.S. has witnessed, as evinced by the chaos in the U.S. economy, the immigration and foreign policy debacles, the spread of antisemitism, the unhinged obsession with climate change, etc.

Oddly, it can be argued that Joe B’s puppet masters, likely funded by George Soros, formulated the unappetizing claim above into a vision for America, labeling it “Bidenomics.”

The dismissive and arrogant manner by which Democrats, and the left-wing media, spread their drivel requires an equally flippant, albeit insightful, examination of Bidenomics: therefore, I shall call it, The Democrats Theory of Cannibalism.

What is this “Theory”?

In layman’s terms, soaring inflation will eventually force all legal Americans to start feasting on each other, since they won’t be able to afford food. (See my Post 1: The Delusion of the Modern Monetary Theory) But the Cannibalism Theory isn’t shy, for it also implies dwindling food supply should eventually solve climate change issues, such as cow farting, gas vehicles…and human exhalation.

The most diabolical aspect to the Cannibalism Theory—worthy, at least, of a Nobel nod—is its impact on illegal immigration. Lest we forget, Joe B might have been a finalist for the Prize years prior had it not been for the fact he was caught plagiarizing at the Syracuse University of Law in 1987[3]. Joe B would’ve been a shoo-in for President of Harvard since plagiarism appears to be a sine qua non to qualify for that post. Alas, Joe B’s ambitions were, well, more ambitious.

But I digress. Back to the Theory’s impact on illegal immigration.

Happenstance, one night, in Eagle Pass, TX, I was prowling by Donald T’s mean-spirited, (legal) barbed wire fence, hunting for food, when I encountered a family of four—a poor, illegal Chinese-Mexican, his wife and two children.[4] They were trapped in the fence, while desperately trying to cross the border back into Mexico. After a few pleasantries, I asked the man why they were sneaking back south.  “Bidenomics,” he’d replied fearfully. My quizzical look prompted him to succinctly summarize the Theory for me.

With a slight Chinese intonation, and in broken Spanish, he whispered, “Bidenomics es una locura, hombre. Su presidente nos está atrayendo a votar por él para que pueda alimentar a los verdaderos estadounidenses.”

“What? What?” I asked in shock. He seemed to imply that the Cannibalism Theory was to let illegals in so the legals could feed on them, but only after the roughly 10 million illegals that were deliberately allowed to enter the country, since 2020, first voted Joe B into office for a second term.

Stunned, I pondered. Maybe, he wasn’t entirely wrong. After all, Joe B’s Executive Order 14019 is a wily attempt to get all government agencies to engage in massive election interference in 2024. The wording in Sections 3, 4 and 9 of the Order is obfuscating legal-speak that essentially conceals the assistance Joe B’s government grubbers can provide to illegals so the latter can vote.[5].

How do I know that, you wonder?

To gain my legal, naturalized citizenship, I had to pass an exam for which I’d prepared. As the illegal Chinese-Mexican frantically tried ripping his shirt off to free himself from the fence, I recalled the Hatch Act of 1939 which disallows all government employees from actively engaging in political activities that favors a political cause…with one exception: An employee paid from an appropriation for the Executive Office of the President.

Some smart officials in Ohio saw through Joe B’s attempt at trickery and recently called him on it.[6]

Dejection seized me. Since the illegal’s Spanish was quite bad, I hoped that I may have misinterpreted him, for there’s only so much Spanish you can learn while passing through Mexico from China.

As I sized up the meat on the man’s bones, my inflationary hunger, brought on by the Theory, stirred the primitive instinct that it is was time to pounce on my prey.

My epicurean desires awake, I went into action.

Sometime later, I was ready to be recorded as a datum in support of Bidenomics.

The illegal señor’s aromatic meat fit nicely in the Lechon taco main course, while the illegal señora’s succulent flesh in the Arrachera taco complemented the Lechon to perfection. The illegal niños were delightfully sweet in my Mollejas tacos dessert.

As I polished off the meal, I doffed my MAGA hat to Dr. Jill B who once, astutely, referred to all Latinos as tacos.[7]

Burp!

[1] April 2024: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/biden-uncle-cannibals
[2] https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opinion/white-house-defends-biden-s-claim-his-uncle-was-eaten-by-cannibals-we-should-not-make-jokes/ar-AA1nkqU
[3] https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/echoes-of-bidens-1987-plagiarism-scandal-continue-to-reverberate/2019/06/05/dbaf3716-7292-11e9-9eb4-0828f5389013_story.html
[4] https://homeland.house.gov/2024/04/18/startling-stats-factsheet-encounters-of-chinese-nationals-surpass-all-fiscal-year-2023-at-the-southwest-border/
[5] https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/executive-order-14019-promoting-access-voting
[6] https://www.foxnews.com/politics/ohio-purges-non-citizens-state-voter-rolls-calls-biden-admin-data-ahead-2024-election
[7] https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-62130595

LIES, DAMNED LIES, AND DEMOCRATS – POST 1  |  POST 2  |  POST 3  |  POST 4